Embracing imperfection on Earth Day

Last month my favorite environmental conference, Bioneers, took place in my home town of Berkeley. After years of driving across the Richmond Bridge to attend the three-day gathering in neighboring Marin County, I woke up in the morning and rode my bike there, efficiently getting my morning workout on the way. It felt so satisfying to be able to do this, and I'm immensely grateful to the organizers for holding the conference in an area close to public transportation, making it possible for many people to travel there without compromising their values.

Unfortunately, life usually isn't so simple. A systemic understanding of the environmental crisis makes it clear that our society is arranged in such a way that, regardless of our intentions, doing right by the Earth is a constant uphill effort, to the point where it is sometimes out of reach. For example, we may want to support local food growers rather than corporate agribusiness, but our budget does not allow it. Or we are aware of the damage done by fossil fuels but without better city planning and public transportation, we find ourselves, frustratingly, still dependent on cars.

In terms of tangible actions, the implications are clear enough: do what we can on an individual level while simultaneously working toward systemic change (I didn't say easy, just clear). But to do this as best we can, it's helpful to attend to our inner dynamics, as well.

These moments of being unable to fully act on our ideals can be painful and discouraging. Social psychologists have a name for it: cognitive dissonance, the discomfort that we feel when we hold in mind two inconsistent beliefs, values, or actions. For instance, we might know that more exercise would be good for our health but can't find the time to make it a regular practice. Or we learn that our driving habits are contributing to climate change but can't fully avoid it.

Experiencing cognitive dissonance is unpleasant: people typically feel uneasy or guilty, and are highly motivated to reduce the dissonance in whatever way they can. Closing the gap between ideals and actions can happen in many ways. We can bring our actions into accord with our values, or we can change our beliefs to match our actions. When the underlying cause of the dissonance is systemic, it can be nearly impossible to reduce dissonance through action alone. (I might wish that I could single-handedly shift society away from corporate capitalism to a thriving, sustainable economy, but that's not how things work). Unfortunately, one of the simplest ways to reduce dissonance is to avoid facing the conflict by turning our attention away from knowledge that we can't fully act upon. We may find ourselves becoming avoidant or apathetic regarding ecological issues, or, more drastically, we may question the reality of climate change or other forms of ecological disruption.

With apathy on one side and perfectionism on the other, it can be hard to even know what a beneficial attitude looks like, much less how to cultivate one. Perhaps a middle way through this impasse would look like self-compassion. Self-compassion, the capacity to meet our difficult moments with kindness toward ourselves, as well as mindfulness and a sense of common humanity, is often spoken of in connection with individual life struggles. But it can also be extremely helpful when our struggles are collective: how to find our way to enduring engagement and emotional balance when the road is long and complex.

Importantly, self-compassion is a powerful antidote to perfectionism, allowing us to do what we can while acknowledging our limitations and flaws. Personally, when I'm grounded in self-compassion, I am more able to face the myriad ways that I am enmeshed in a dysfunctional system, with courage and clarity. Rather than resolving cognitive dissonance by turning away from painful knowledge, I can soften around the discomfort of dissonance. Rather than feeling ashamed to be implicated in dynamics of colonialism, capitalism and racism that are harmful to humans and the Earth, with self-compassion I am motivated to use my time, energy, and intelligence to shift these systems in whatever ways are available to me.

And, perhaps most importantly, self-compassion helps us stay connected to our hearts. In the midst of crisis mode with respect to the Earth, it is important it is to remember that our inherent connection to nature, and our love of this beautiful planet and the species who live here, is the ultimate source of our action, our creativity, and our persistence. So I invite you, this Earth Day and every day, to do the Earth a favor by embracing imperfection.